Anything

He found a way to come to me.
I bought new underwear, new sheets, new area rugs for the bedroom.
The usual disorganization of my life does not lend itself to the illusion of fantasy... so I lit candles and removed as much cat hair as I could find.
I gave him directions.
I moved through my house restlessly, imagining him there and willing the time to pass until he arrived and then to stop so that I could have him all to myself.
I cleaned my house and made the bed and shaved my legs and waited.
And then he was there. Tall and smiling and so very real in my living room.
We were both nervous and a little awkward at first, but the kissing started and everything just sort of fell into place.
He was sweet and nervous and wonderful, and he made me come so hard I cried. And he held me and kissed me again so sweetly...
After, we talked and laughed and touched and kissed some more. I haven't wanted a man to stay the night in so long, but this one could have stayed forever.
Of course, the fact that he could not possibly stay more than a few hours made it very safe for me to want him to stay forever.
Just before he had to go the kissing became more fevered and desperate.
I love the sounds he makes when he comes.
I love the way he moves inside me.
I love the way he laughs and kisses my forehead when I say something clever.
I love his hands in my hair and the way he smells.
I tried to stay in the mindset that this could be the only time we had together and that I should just enjoy every second for what it was - a sweet, temporary, lovely moment.
But every moment made me want him more.
I expected to feel alone and empty when he left and I was surprised to find that I just felt complete and happy.
I am in so much trouble.